consequence | from messages ] [ inbox for ataraxion

my hoodie's still in your room

[To be fair, she isn't currently wearing said hoodie. It's folded and sitting on top of a nearby dresser. She's contemplated just leaving it outside his door, but the fact of the matter is that this is a ship of scavengers and she didn't want to be responsible for it getting stolen. Her plan had been to just bring it to the next jump and lock it in her locker and hand it to him when she saw him. There was no real point to her trying to bring up that he'd left things in her room. She didn't need to have him trying to figure out the path of least resistance to getting his things back and she didn't want him turning Derek into some go-between.]

it's on my dresser. I didn't take you off the access to my room. you can get it whenever you want.

give it to derek
or scott

[it may not be the ideal solution, but he knows that heading up to her room won't end well for either of them. even typing out these text messages are taking longer than they should. extra time spent rereading every message and rewriting them to seem more indifferent. (less hurt).]

might as well take my name off
it's not like i've got any reason to go in there

[He's putting other people in the middle with that option and she really doesn't have time for this sort of behavior. She's had enough of people treating her like she's this thing to be moved about, she doesn't need people that she cared about treating her like she's easy to discard.]

I won't take your name off. Something happened back home. Something apart from this place and I might have to deal with it here, but that doesn't mean I just ignore everything else. It doesn't mean that I conveniently forget everything from this place.

Your name stays. if you ever need something, even your hoodie, you're welcome to come here. I know you're angry, but it's not easy for me either.

[She's going to have to have this baby twice if the worst thing happens. She has two lives now, that's just how she views it. It's the only way she can even think to rationalize it, because she knows that if she had remembered anything from this damn ship, she would've done it differently.]

something happened?
you slept with klaus
that's not just something

[anyone else and, sure, he wouldn't be overly happy. but it'd be something he could deal with. it's the fact that, despite everything she knows about him, she still looked to the hybrid for safety. that he doesn't know how to ignore.]

i have my pack here
people i can trust
i don't need you

I was with him before I came here the first time. in his house. drinking his scotch. looking at his dumb paintings.

then I showed up here and i had to face not just the things I did, but the person that I did them to. I didn't hide from it. I didn't try to make excuses. I tried to make things right, because who knew if I would ever be able to do that back home. I was helping. I wasn't being that dangerous wolf that tyler had warned people about.

I wasn't that girl here.

I was happy here.

[She knows she's wasting her time, but it isn't something she can just leave it be, and even if he gets more upset with her at least she'll have tried to explain it all.]

then I get pulled back. I end up right back in that house, right back with his scotch and everything here, the people I met, the things I did, the trust I had built up, the things I had faced for all those months were gone. not even a hint of it. I was just back in that room as if barely a breath had passed. I didn't know what would happen or who I would be hurting, on some spaceship, in the deep of wherever we are right now.

so yes. something happened. and I could have lied to you. I could have made up some story, but if anyone from my world ever showed up, and they knew, and they told you? it would have been 100 times worse. I owed you the truth, even if it hurt.

I have never lied to you, Isaac. I wasn't going to start just to make things easier on me.

[there's a lot he could say. even more that he should. but beneath it all, he's still very much a teenager who's just been let down by one of the few people left he cares about. cared. (that he knew he wasn't far off from naming their connection something he hasn't felt before). he can't do this because it's still too fresh. still doesn't have any idea of how he's even meant to begin dealing with it all.

which is why, despite text rarely ever carrying tones well, his reply is a defeated--]

what're you expecting from me hayley

[She knows that if he wanted to get his hoodie he could have told Derek or Scott to get it from her. Instead, he came to her with the information. As if it was something she hadn't realized. She's not sure what the point of all of this is. Unlike the last reply which was filled with her attempts to explain, to try and make him understand how he's holding her accountable for the things she can't control, her reply is short and to the point.]

I've never expected anything from you, Isaac. That hasn't changed either.

we're got nothing else to talk about then
just give one of them my hoodie and we're done

[it's a response he doesn't want to give, but it's the only one he's willing to make right now. his full moon had already gone wrong because of this. so now he knows he needs to put that distance back between them before he messes up all over again.]

[It hurts to read it. To see that he's just letting it stand this way. The only reason she even had to tell him is because of the baby. It isn't lost on her how much a baby changes your life. She glances to the hoodie and she's half tempted to just bring it to him. She's not someone that needs to hide from difficult things. Instead, she just lays on her bed watching his jacket as if it's going to give her the best reply to send to him.

She knows he's as stubborn as she is and that this isn't going to get any better. Hayley doesn't want to make it any worse, either.]

okay

from messages ] [ inbox for ataraxion

text; locked FOR MORE PAIN

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject