consequence | from messages ] [ inbox for ataraxion

[For as much trouble as that other ship had been, with the trapped in the hallways and all the hassle of trying to be careful about being faster than the average person... she's really glad that she went. Things that she never would have taken for granted back home, like instant cocoa, aren't that easy to come by in space and finding it in one of the galleys had been something she barely thought about. She just shoved it in her backpack and kept looking for more non-perishables. Now, she's glad she has it.]

i can make hot cocoa.

[She's pretty sure she'd have to make it and bring it to him. If he's in subzero temperatures there's no way she'd be able to make it in his room. Besides, it does need hot water, not out of the faucet hot water.]

i could bring it to you.

[Unless...]

or you could meet me in the kitchen on your level.

[it'd be neutral grounds. he knows that. if he's going to meet with her, then the kitchen is definitely the better choice. but that's the choice the others would want him to make. (not that they'd want him to meet with hayley in the first place). and that's the very reason his reply is simply-]

then i have to get out of bed
:(

[shush he's allowed to act like a five year old sometimes]

[Is that...? Did he just emoticon a frowny face at her? What does that even mean for someone in high school?? She feels really old all of a sudden and frowns.

But... not like the emoticon.

ANYWAY!!]

you're going to answer the door with all of your linens wrapped around you. aren't you

[blame ric. the end.]

i forgot about that
im gonna turn in to an icicle opening the door

you could try to come here. my rooms been hovering around arizona dry heat.

without shade.

you want me to come to youir room

[okay no, he needs to remember who he's talking to.]

ii kinda need to be able to feel my feet again before i even try to move again

not sure you staying in the spot that is making you cold is going to help with that.

[She won't push it though, because she knows. She knows that she still has a huge red, blinking neon sign above her that reads 'werewolves died because of her' and that it's not going away anytime soon.]

i can come there if that's okay

derek doesnt come up here if thats what youre worried about

no, i care what you want.

i just want to get out of here without feeling like im gonna catch fire

also cocoa

i can bring you cocoa if you want me to.

[This is the worst game of 'come over chicken' ever.]

its ok

[there's a long delay before he continues, mostly because he's trying to work out whether this is really a good idea or not.]

your rooms warmer

then come over.

[She sends it and then just leaves it. She won't pressure or ask him again and if he changes his mind, then she won't think about it.]

[he doesn't send any reply to that. not this time. instead, isaac spends all too long a time forcing himself to get out of his bed. to take on the freezing temperature and step out in to the dry heat of the hallway. from one extreme to the other, though he knows it shouldn't take long for his body to get used to the shift in temperature. it just hurts, right down to his bone, in a way that his healing has no chance of overcoming. all he can do is grit his teeth and wait it out.

almost half an hour has passed by the time he finally makes it to hayley's room, the temperature having shifted enough times that he's long since regretted throwing the majority of his warmer clothing back in to his room after he left. so now, he's wrapped back up in his lone hoodie as he knocks on the door to hayley's room, doing his best to contain his shivering.]

[When there aren't any more replies, Hayley just opts to keep to herself. She can see the condensation on her door, knowing that her room is warmer than the hall outside. Honestly, she's just waiting for there to be a freak rainstorm in between these warm and cold fronts.

She moves around her room, tank top and shorts, bare feet and a glass of water to keep cool. Drinking would be stupid, even if she thinks she needs a drink.

The knock comes suddenly and she wonders why she didn't hear someone coming. She blames it on the heat. The dry air making her feel a bit out of sorts anyway. She's used to fluctuating temperatures, but this is just crazy.

Opening the door, she's surprised to see Isaac. He's shivering and she can almost see the cloud of warmth coming out from her room into the hall.]

Shit, Isaac. [Her hand reaches out for him, pulling him inside quickly so she can shut the door and the cold out.] Keep your hoodie on.

[Once she shuts the door, she moves to grab him a blanket and wrap it around his shoulders, rubbing along his arms to try and warm him up.]

It'll take a bit, but it's better to have to remove layers than have the instant heat.

[offering up little resistance, issac stays silent as hayley makes her attempts at warming him up. it's the contact that keeps him steady. keeps him from backing away and pretending everything's fine. between all the trouble with derek and scott, it's...nice to have someone there who isn't after something from him that he can't give.

it's once he's finally able to at least shift his feet without feeling like they're about to shatter that isaac finally looks up at her, offering up a weak but grateful smile in response. only moments before he's stepping forward slightly so he can instead rest his forehead against her shoulder. a request that comes without words.

well, nothing more than a muttered-]

Don't say anything.

[about what he's doing. about what he's asking for. things are different with hayley than they are with the others. the others ask questions. the others expect him to act a certain way. with hayley, it doesn't seem to matter. not when she's already seen him at his worst. (here, at least. there's worse before, but he's not planning on revisiting those times again, even if they do find his dad).]

[The thing is that Hayley had seen some of the worse. She had been in his mind, felt that fear and need for approval. She could understand a lot of it, too. Probably more than she'd ever admit to anyone. Of never feeling like good enough is good enough. When his head comes to rest to her shoulder, she doesn't say anything at all. Her hand just moves to rest to the back of his head. The slight damp of his hair from all the temperature shifts pressing to her palm as she just stands there with him.

It takes her a few minutes of that stillness before her head tips slightly, resting her cheek to the side of his head. She can feel his breath, hear his heartbeat and even just this slight moment of human contact makes her feel more normal than she has on this ship since she arrived. Everyone puts a door between her and them. Sometimes it's just a figurative thought. Distancing themselves because it feels safer for them, but then the wolf comes and a physical door gets pressed there. Tyler wouldn't even risk staying in the room with her and he was a hybrid. He could've taken her easily, but instead he kept himself away.

For whatever reason, Isaac wouldn't just stay near -- he put himself closer to her and it's possible that it's because of the fact that she's sure rebellion resides in his mind a lot more than most teenagers, but she doesn't want to blame it all on that.

She just wants someone to be okay with her and not be waiting for her to betray them.]

[it's enough; the added contact. the fact she isn't pushing him away. it's enough to keep him from backing off. exactly what he needs to let himself relax for the time being and soak in the comfort that being around someone like hayley brings. he doesn't have to pretend around her, and it's something that's become increasingly harder to find, the longer he's been stuck here. especially with all the new information he keeps learning about what's to come, back home.

but despite just how comforting it may be, it isn't long before he finally steps away again, his gaze fixed on the floor at first as he pulls himself back together. by the time he finally looks back up at hayley again, there's a grin on his face that's completely at odds with just how he's really feeling. it's just easier this way.]

So do you want to get blamed for corrupting a teenager, or are we sticking to cocoa?

[not that age means much of anything, here.]

[The contact is something Hayley tries not to take for granted, but everyone boxes themselves off. The comms, the jumps, everything in its place. Even if she didn't have the wolf to keep at bay once a month she knows that for as many people are on this ship, she won't meet half of them. The ones she does meet have part of her. Memories that have slipped loose. The others already knew what she did by the things Tyler told them.

She is not trusted. Not liked.

With Isaac it's not just different, it's separate from that.

He had asked his questions and she'd answered honestly. Now they just weave in and out of these brief interactions and she doesn't question it. It's funny to think that one of the few people here that might actually trust her is the last person that should.

Her hand stays at the back of his head, not a single shushing sound uttered, despite the thought that she's supposed to be comforting in the moment. When he pulls back she exhales and steps away from him, not because she wants to or needs to, but because she figures it's better for both of them.

Especially with the way he's grinning.

Her hands come up to in front of herself, rubbing the inside of her palm with a thumb as fingers push at her knuckles.]

Blame would imply that someone would find out and think that it was wrong. Are you looking for trouble, Isaac?

You know the kind of people who'd come looking. As far as they'd be concerned, the fact I'm even here is wrong.

[given that the only people who'd really consider doing something like that are those from his world. (from his pack, present and future). he doesn't know about derek's involvement with hayley yet. all he has to go on is the fact that he was the one to warn isaac about her in the first place. as far as he's aware, that opinion hasn't changed.]

Though I guess they wouldn't be surprised. Trouble is pretty good at finding us.

[otherwise how to you explain the kanima. the alpha pack. the darach. the werewolves of beacon hills seem to attract all kinds of trouble, and it's rarely their fault. (okay, maybe sometimes it is). but why should it be any different on the ship? it's easier to place all that blame on outside sources and maintain his own innocence in the situations he finds himself in.

in other words, hayley is going to be stuck taking all the blame if they end up getting caught. sorry about that?]

[Her own world isn't exactly filled with the easy life. Trouble finds her, but it definitely has a larger impact on her life. The trouble that finds her - like the Professor - tends to push onto her and give her hope only to twist it around into something that they need. They can do something for her, but they need something in exchange and she's just so used to not having anything that she takes whatever she thinks she needs.

Even if it ends up being a mistake.

Impulse control isn't something Hayley has managed very well over the years and having Isaac in front of her, pretty much listing off all the reasons why not makes her think that it shouldn't matter what the rest of the ship thinks. There are worse people here -- and they're doing whatever they like. (She assumes.) Why shouldn't she?

Maybe she should ask him how old he is... not that she didn't spend the last few months hanging out with Mystic Falls Class of 2013.]

I know, but that's not what I asked. [That nagging part of her tells her that if he didn't answer her the first time, he probably won't answer her again, but having him just standing there -- it's slightly distracting. God, how do guys get the great eyelashes genetics? Twelve dollars in make-up wouldn't give her those lashes.]

What do you want, Isaac? [There, the blunt question will probably get dodged, but she has to at least ask.]

You asked if I was looking for trouble.

[it's not a real response though. just a throw away comment to cover his few moments of indecision. of time spent trying to decide just how honest he should be. of all the people on the ship, it's somehow hayley who he knows would be the least likely to judge him. especially when compared to the rest of the people here from his world. and while he knows he should blame that on knowing just what she's done to tyler and his pack, just what she's capable of doing for her own gain, it's more than that. these past few months- things have changed. and while he knows she's still potentially a threat, that isn't something that's mattered to him for a while now. not when he's fairly certain she isn't going to turn on him without provocation.]

You want to know what I want? [that grin is still there, but it's more subdued. more real now that he doesn't see a point in hiding.] I want to hang out with someone who's not going to spend the entire time wondering why I'm even there. And I want to do something stupid and fun and not have to think about any of the werewolf stuff that the people from home keep trying to push on me.

You think you can do that?

[It's probably the way he words it that makes the most sense to her. The fact that he doesn't want to think about the werewolf stuff from back home -- that all she hears is the points that Tyler keeps trying to drill into her. "Screw up and we'll put you down." Because of all the people on this ship - they see her as the threat. It's not laughable, but considering all she ever does is put information into the hands of someone else, she can see how it might scare them. Except, she knows that the information she has here includes her. She can't out werewolves without outing herself and that's just a stupid thing.

There's nothing for her to gain and honestly, she's getting tired of trying to prove herself as someone worth trusting. She won't stop trying, but she'd like to have a moment where someone believes that she's not going to stab them in the back the first chance she gets.]

Yeah, Isaac. [She steps in closer to him, nodding as she looks up at him.] Yeah, I can do that. [The step closer isn't to provoke intimacy, but to lend her trust to him.]

You don't need a reason to be here -- you're one of the few people on this ship that'll actually just come over without making it some sort of chore. Like you owe it to the ship or something.

I don't want to lose that.

[it may not be her intention, but between her words and the closing distance, it feels far more intimate. far more like a secret meant to be kept between just the two of them, tucked away from the outside world. and in a lot of ways, it is. it's something he knows he can't talk to derek or scott about. knows that the other wolves, the other people who know her history, would look down on him for. would blame hayley for, even though it was his choice to be there in the first place.

it leaves his voice soft, quiet. his fingers itching to reach back out for the contact he broke off only moments before.]

As long as I'm here, you won't.

[he can't promise he'll be there indefinitely. not when the ship is so prone on sending people away without warning. but as long as he's there, as long as they both are, he can at least promise that much. that she won't lose whatever this is between them. he's not going to get scared off by the others.]

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